Stupid
by Cutthroat Pixie
Summary: Fem Spain/Romano: It was normal for Spain to randomly decide to be a woman, but that didn't mean Romano would ever get used to it.


Title: Stupid  
Pairing: (Fem)Spain/Romano  
Rating: PG-13  
Note: This was written for a kink meme request. _Anon wants a fill/fills where the nations not only get to choose their gender but can change at anytime._ Soooo, that explains this a little bit haha.

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Romano was seated in Spain's living room, glowering down at the floor as if it had personally offended him. It hadn't, of course, it was a floor, but Romano was pissed off at that stupid Spanish bastard upstairs for still being asleep. Did he not know that Romano was down here starving? Did he not realise that he was being a really fucking crappy host right now? _Did he not know who Romano was?!_

Apparently not, to answer everything, as Spain was still sleeping, and Romano was still hungry, a good hour after Romano had originally woken up.

"What an asshole," Romano huffed, finally deciding it would be best if he just woke Spain up himself. Honestly, it was so hard to find good help these days. "Spain!" he called out, standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Wake the fuck up, I'm hungry!"

"Ah!" a voice sounded off from inside the kitchen. "Don't worry, I'm making breakfast!"

Well then.

Romano stormed into the kitchen, full prepared for a little shin-kicking action. "You moron, where do you get off--!"

He stopped. He sputtered. He perhaps drooled a little bit, but that could be overlooked for now. He paused mid-kick and put his foot down on the ground, because while yes, that stupid bastard Spain was right in front of him, just waiting to be told off for being a stupid bastard, _he_ wasn't the one smiling brightly at Romano whilst standing by the kitchen stove.

_She_ was.

"What-- you--," Romano sputtered some more. "How is this necessary at all?!"

Spain just laughed, her breasts bouncing lightly as she did so. Not that Romano was staring. He never stared at Spain, regardless of gender, because that would mean he found him/her ridiculously attractive and pfft. Not happening (though damn did Romano have to agree with America about being lucky he was "tapping that", whatever the fuck that meant). "This dress came in the mail this morning and I wanted to try it on!" she said, twirling the skirt of her dress slightly. "Are you really, really hungry? I made lots of food!"

Romano just grumbled a soft, "Yes," and sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for Spain to bring his food over and sit down as well.

"You're so cute when you're hungry," Spain cooed softly, setting a plate in front of Romano. "With your sad little growly tummy~." She ruffled Romano's hair and he growled, bringing his hand up to punch that stupid bastard in the goddamned face--

He gently pushed those feminine hands away from his hair. "Just sit down and eat, Spain."

Spain did as she was told, but not before giving Romano a quick peck on the cheek, causing him to blush a deep, red colour.

"Did you sleep well, Lovi?" Spain asked, leaning eversoslightly across the table to brush Romano's arm with her hand. "You were making your happy sleeping noises, so I think you did~."

How Spain knew the difference between Romano's "happy" sleeping noises and any other sleeping noises he might make, Romano had no idea, but he knew if he asked, the answer wouldn't make a lick of sense anyway, so he just didn't bother. His usual retort of, "I'd sleep a lot better without your stupid ass next to me," died when he looked up into that pretty, smiling face and he just rolled his eyes. "Y-yeah, I slept just fine." Damnit, why did this always happen to him?!

It was a common thing, of course, for Spain to randomly decide he felt like being a woman on any given day. It was a common enough occurrence in all nations, so it wasn't really all that disconcerting in and of itself. What _was_ bothersome was the fact that whenever "Antonia" made her appearance, Romano just didn't know how to react to her. Spain had almost always been a man while Romano was growing up, especially during times of war, and so Romano hadn't quite grown accustomed to the feminine wiles Spain could so clearly possess without even thinking about it when he wanted to try on a dress or whatever other flimsy excuse he could come up with.

Romano was confused because, while he didn't exactly hate Spain, he wasn't all that nice to the older nation most of the time. On the other hand, though, Romano was typically always nice to pretty women.

And _Spain_ being a pretty woman just didn't compute.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed Spain was leaning all the way across the table. Her hand was on his forehead, she was practically _on_ the table as opposed to just leaning over it, and her _breasts were in his face_.

"W-what are you doing?!"

Spain pulled back, a concerned look on her face. "Romano got so quiet all of a sudden and I was so worried! Are you sick? Boss will take good care of you if you are, don't worry!"

"I'm fine, you basta--. I'm fine," he replied, once again gently removing her hands from his person. "Just ea..." he trailed off when he noticed that Spain couldn't "just eat", as in her haste to make sure he wasn't dying of fever, she had leaned into her plate of torrijas. Her shirt was now covered in a mixture of bread, cinnamon, sugar, and sticky honey, and there was no way she was going to be able to actually eat the food anymore.

"Ay!" Spain exclaimed, standing up and causing her plate to clatter to the floor. She laughed at herself and bent over to pick up the, thankfully unbroken, dish and put it back on the table. "I didn't ruin yours too, did I?"

"No," Romano said flatly.

"Ah, good!" Spain then did the most entirely unnecessary, nonsensical thing ever and _started to take off her dress_.

Romano immediately averted his eyes and squeaked, dropping his mug of coffee in his panicked haste. "Don't do that in the kitchen! The window is open, go upstairs!"

Spain pulled her dress down from where it was over her head and looked over at Romano. Then over at the window. Then back to Romano. "Hm? But nobody is out there, just the tomatoes~."

"Yeah, w-well! _I'm_ in _here_!" Romano countered.

Spain just shrugged. "You've seen me naked before." With that, she finished removing her dress and sauntered off, most likely to get a new one to wear.

When she... When _he_ came back into the kitchen, Spain was wearing a more casual outfit, just blue jeans and a simple, loose top.

"I have to wash the dress before I can wear it again," he said, a sulk apparent in his voice. "But oh well! What do you want to do today, Lovi?"

Romano, finally able to react properly without feeling bad for hitting a girl, kicked Spain soundly in the shins.


End file.
